Think Before You Speak

I love quotes.

I love Pinterest.

I love Pinterest's quotes.

My recent favorites are "The Rules of a Lady".

This one I find particularly good for moms.

Isn't that the truth?

Here is one of my favorite quotes (actually NOT from Pinterest that I believe goes beautifully with the quote above)

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ~Author Unknown

And some song lyrics for good measure...

"Slow Fade"
by Casting Crowns

♪♫ Be careful little lips what you say For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray ♪♫

Often, in anger...especially now when the kids are all home from school and things are getting heated outside AND inside...we, as moms, start to lose it. We say things that we shouldn't...because we're hot...we're tired...we're frustrated...we just want some stinkin' PEACE AND QUIET already! Whatever the emotion is at the moment, all it takes is a slip. Words can't be taken back. And our children are listening. And later it shows up in their own conversations and it's a big 'ol slap...because we know where they heard it. I don't know about you but I've been embarrassed a time or two...or ten (Thank the Lord, not in public...yet). I want to be filling my children with positive uplifting words. Not only that but did you know that yelling gets absolutely NOTHING accomplished because the recipient drowns you out? It's a proven fact.

Source: Pinterest

Plus, when you speak quietly, did you ever notice that you are actually able to focus on what you're saying? I have found that to be true. I THINK more when I am speaking with normal volume. When I'm yelling, I'm typically spewing nonsense and words that can hurt.

It's funny...when I think about growing up and times when my parents were upset with me...there are two very distinct things I remember most. I remember my mom flipping out because I withheld a bad report card in junior high. It was one time. But she REALLY flipped. I remember word for word all of the things that she said. I can close my eyes and picture it. I do not think that those words define who I am or who I was but they did hurt. So much so that 20 plus years later, I still remember it vividly. On the other side of the coin, when my dad really took the time to sit down with me and correct me with one of his famous lectures, I LOVED it when he ended a heartfelt sentence in "Sweetheart". In fact, he could have said almost anything but as long as he ended it in, "Sweetheart", I knew that it'd be okay... and that he loved me.

(Mom, if you're reading, it was ONE time...don't be mad that I wrote this...that is an AWESOME record!) :)

We have to discipline our children. It's our job. But let's try to choose our words wisely. They can hurt or heal. Uplift our children or break them down. I know that words stick. So much so that I remember things that my parents said even now and I'm 29...eh hem. ;)

Let's band together as Mommy's today and vow to speak words of life into our children...even if you can only commit to today or this moment. Let's vow to take a deep breath, count to ten...or 500...however long it takes. Let's vow to whisper instead of scream (remember, it's scarier!). I want the words that my children remember to be words that I won't want to hang my head in shame as they are repeated back to me someday. Of course, I have screwed up lots of times and will again many more...we're only human after all. With big ol' sin natures. But in this moment, I can choose kindness...and discipline with wisdom. I can speak life. Oh and while you're at it, don't forget to tell them just how much you love them and exactly what it is that you love about them...ESPECIALLY when you'd rather wring their necks. It's then that they (and you) need it most.

:)

God BLESS your day, ladies! (And gents, if you're reading, this works for you too!)

XO

Remember to Breathe...

In the hot dog days of summer...when their bickering is at an all time high and your patience is at an all time low...think of this...and don't forget to breathe.

Source: Pinterest

XO

To-Do Today

Read with my children.

Source: Pinterest

A 3 Letter Word

I kid you not. It almost sounds like it should be a curse word.

I'm not prepared to hear it. Not from him.

He's my baby...

Though there isn't much baby left in him...

And now this...

I almost feel like washing his mouth out with soap, I swear.

"Mom"

Wasn't I JUST feeling the anticipatory pangs of excitement at the thought of him finally calling me, "Mommy"???

Now I have this all-too-grown-up little blond boy in front of me calling me............

"Mom"

And it sounds foreign.

He is my last. And "Mommy" is almost officially gone.

And it makes me so sad.

Not even 3 years old yet and...

I'm "Mom" now.

I need a moment of silence to grieve.

Will someone please tell me...where is the freeze button on time?!

Diapers to driver's license in 60 seconds flat.

3 years ago this Friday, I met him for the first time face to face. It was my birthday.

Best.Birthday.Gift.EVER.

We're gonna have to have a serious talk about this "Mom" thing...

Time Out...

...to paint pretty pink sparkles on little toes...

:)

Are YOU In Tha Muthahood?

Peace out! ;)

Consider Yourself Tagged: A Mommy Survey

In honor of Mother's Day coming up, I thought that it'd be fun to do a little Mommy survey. Care to join me? :)

Here's mine...

1. How long have you been a Mom?

Almost 7 years (including 9 months of pregnancy)

2. How many children call you (or have called you) Mommy?

3

3. Girl? Boy? Both? How many?

2 boys and 1 girl

4. Did you know what you were having before you gave birth?

I wanted to find out with my first two so that I could be prepared nursery and clothing wise but since we had one of each by the 3rd child, we decided to be surprised. I honestly LOVED being surprised with our last one. When my husband happily cried "It's a BOY!", I was like..."Oh yeah! I forgot that we didn't know!" :) That was really fun.


5. How old were you when you became a Mom?:

27

6. How long were you in labor?

12 hours - despite the mind blowing pain, it produced awesome results. :)


7. What’s your favorite thing about being a mom?

It is so hard to pick just one thing but they make me laugh! Oh man...the things that they come up with. Crack.Me.Up.


8. What’s your least favorite thing?

The fact that I can't protect them from pain. When they hurt, I hurt more. Even though I know I have to put them in God's hands, my maternal instinct is fierce. You hurt my babies, I hurt you. I wish sometimes that I could turn that off. It's the craziest kind of love.

9. Do you want more kids?

I miss having babies but I honestly feel content with the 3 that I have. I feel like our family is complete. Of course, I wouldn't object if God gave us more! I love big families.

10. Do you plan on having more soon?

Nope...I didn't plan on my last 3 either though. ;)

11. Does/did daddy change diapers?

Yes, thankfully, he's always been very good with that.

12. How many times have you been peed on?

Oh goodness...quite a few. :)

13. Barfed on?

Once, that I can remember. My son, Nicolas, was about 2 and he got a very bad stomach virus. I picked him up out of his crib and he barfed all down the back of me. It was lovely.

14. Is/are your child(ren) named after anyone?

My son Nicolas' middle name is Angelo which is also my husband's middle name.
Natalie was named after the street we lived on in North Carolina.


15. How did you come up with their name(s)?

Natalie was really the only name that we got from something specific (see above). After having 2 N's, it seemed only right that our 3rd should also have an N name. It worked out perfectly since we now have Nic*Nat*No. :)

16. When your child gets in trouble, who is the bad guy?

My husband and I both are but I am the stronger disciplinarian.

17. And who is the good guy?

I feel like my husband let's my kids off easier than I do so maybe technically he is "the good guy" but honestly, I discipline my kids because I love them and I think that they get that so I don't really ever feel like "the bad guy".

18. What is the longest you have been away from your children?

A week, last year in Arizona. I went there to spend time with my cousin who had recently moved. Had such a blast that I am going again this year - a month from today! I know that some people may not agree with that but honestly, it was the best thing. We, as mom's, really need a reprieve. When you really think about it, we don't EVER get a vacation. Even when we are on vacation with our kids, we are still needing to cut up food, refill sippy cups, give baths, put everyone to bed etc. When you get to get away on your own for a bit and recharge, it winds up being a good thing for everyone. Plus, my kids are desperate to go to grandma's for the week - they practically can't wait til I leave! :)


19. Bedtime routine?

Our basic is this...bath time, pj's, read a book, sing a song (or 2 or 5 depending on the night), prayers and lights out. Sometimes it's all, sometimes it's some, sometimes it isn't much other than pj's, prayers and light's out. We ALWAYS pray before bed and I always kiss them goodnight and tell them I love them.

20. Are your toes painted?

At the moment, yes. But they are chipping and I do, DESPERATELY need a pedicure.

21. Last movie you saw in the theater?

My husband and I took our two older ones to see The Chronicles of Narnia, Voyage of the Dawn Treader for Nic's birthday. They had never been to the theater before and were in AWE. It was pretty funny when my daughter said, "Mommy, what is a movie theater?" And to think...once upon a time, I practically went every weekend!

22. Last time you had a date?

Oh man...I have no idea. It's been quite a while.

23. One thing you will not give up just because you’re a mom?

Time to myself. It's a necessary part of keeping your own personal identity.

24. One thing you did give up now that you’re a mom?

The freedom to be able to just pick up and go.

25. Best mom perk?

Front row seat to the best show on earth - my kids lives!


26. Snack you sneak bites from your child?

Chicken nuggets.

27. When the kid is napping, you are?

You're lookin' at it!

28. Where is your child now?

All three of them are in the living room.

29. Favorite place to buy maternity clothes?

Target has super cute ones...I got a lot from Motherhood and Gap Maternity as well.

30. If I could do it over, I’d do this differently:

I would have sat down with my husband and discussed how we'd like to raise our future children instead of discovered our radical differences after the fact.

31. What is the craziest thing you have said/done/taught since becoming a mom?

Isn't the simple fact that I am a mom crazy enough?! :)

It's because of these absolutely TO DIE FOR kiddos that I'm a Mommy and I couldn't be prouder of them!


Now it's YOUR turn! Tag...you're it!
Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day - Dishing It with Amanda @ Serenity Now

I'm linking up to Amanda's Dishing It Party...check her out @ http://serenitynow4amanda.blogspot.com/2010/05/dishing-it-party.html - she is such a fun girl and I love her "Dishing It" parties. :)

This month's Dishing It party is all about MOM's - in honor of Mother's Day, of course!

My Mom and I

What's the best thing about your mom?

She is the most giving, sacrificial person I know. She used to stay up with me until all hours of the night helping me with book reports, science projects and the like - at times sending me to bed and finishing the typing for me so that I wouldn't be too tired for school the next day (even though she worked full time and would be tired herself).

She always took such good care of me when I was sick and STILL DOES. When I am ill, to this day, I can call her and she'll come over with ginger ale, medicine and she'll stay to take care of my kids when I am not able to. She is the world's BEST comforter.

She takes awesome care of my kids, thinks of things that I don't and loves them almost as much as I do (though she will forever argue that she loves them even MORE than I do - but we all know that's not possible!)

She has always shown me unconditional love...

She loves to laugh - I LOVE the times when we laugh so much we can hardly breathe...

If your mom isn't around, do you have a family member or mentor who can stand in for her?

My mom is around and I am so thankful to God for her. :)

What's your relationship with your mom like (do you just tolerate each other, or is she your best confidant)?

She is one of my very best friends...I tell her everything...we talk multiple times a week and this time of year, you can find us yard saling together every Saturday morning. Growing up and still to this day, I'd much rather hang out with my mom than almost anyone!

If there is one quality about your mom that you could emulate, what would it be?

I wish that I was as thoughtful and sacrificial as she is. I have such a long long way to go on that. I'm thankful for a great example in her though. I'd also love to have her fabulous sense of direction! She's like her own personal GPS. ;)

What's the best advice your mom has ever given you?

I can't think of any one thing just now but she's really good at talking sense into me when I am tempted to make an impulsive purchase. :)

Describe the most embarrassing outfit your mom made you wear when you were growing up. (If you have a photo of this, I will give you ten bonus points!)

I can't think of anything in particular...my mom always dressed us fairly well, I think.

Mom, if you are reading this...I LOVE YOU!!!

If you're a mom, what's your favorite thing about motherhood? What's the most difficult?

So many things...I love hearing them tell me that they love me...I love their hugs and kisses...I love hearing them tell me that I am their best friend. I love the feeling I get when they want me over anyone else (especially when they are hurting). I love their giggles and when they sing with me in the car. I love the way that their face lights up when they are proud of their own personal accomplishments. I love the way that they smell and look fresh right out of a bath. I love the way that they love me even when I completely screw up over and over again. I love that they forgive even before they get an apology. I love that they love each other and I love seeing their little minds work and how creative they can be. I love so much more about them too!

The most difficult thing is seeing them grow up so fast...and always worrying if they are going to be ok...if they will stay healthy...if they will stay safe. This world can be so cruel and so scary and I worry that they will be hurt physically, emotionally etc

My kiddos

Noah, 22 months old

Natalie, 4 years old

Nicolas, 5 years old

They are my pride and joy x 3! :)

Better Late Than Never? "Decide to Be Authentic - Part 2 of Chapter 2"

“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like, Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3:5-6)

“You are her daughters.” The emphasis is on what caused the change rather than the change itself. Literally, the original means “you became her daughters”. The way we become daughters of Sarah is through a commitment, a decision, to developing the habit of doing what is right and not giving in to fear. When we obey God and focus on the internals over the externals of life, we gain a less complicated life. We become low-maintenance women.”

We often hear the term “high-maintenance woman”. I have heard some women describe themselves as “high-maintenance” and I’ve also heard other people refer to some women as “high-maintenance”. I never thought much about it because I never considered myself to be one until I read Pam Farrel’s (Author of The Best Decisions a Woman Can Make – the book study is based on) description of a low-maintenance woman.

Here are a few principles that she taught her boys so they could steer clear of high-maintenance women. (And definitely ones I will be following as well once my boys become of age to start looking for a woman – I thank the Lord THAT is years from now)

“The less clothes a girl has on is directly proportional to the amount of baggage she is carrying emotionally. Little clothes means many bags. She’s a high maintenance woman. A high maintenance woman puts people in no-win situations. For example, she’ll ask, “Do I look fat in this outfit?” If you say yes, she’ll burst out in tears. If you say no, she says, “Oh, you have to say that – you’re married to me” or “You’re only saying that because I’m your friend.”

Here are some of her pointers on how to spot a low-maintenance woman (or LM women):

Either she will be wearing this shirt:

(though, probably not) ;)

OR

• An LM woman doesn’t ask for compliments, but she graciously receives them when given.
• An LM woman knows that winning and whining are spelled differently and should never be used interchangeably.
• An LM woman doesn’t try to wear you down. Instead, she seeks to build you up.
• An LM woman follows as well as she leads.
• An LM woman is more interested in the team working than the theme working.
• An LM woman knows how to use make-up, but she doesn’t hide behind it.
• An LM woman believes personal happiness is a benefit, not a goal or a right.
• An LM woman accepts a man’s input without needing his attention.
• An LM woman appreciates her girlfriend’s input but doesn’t need her approval.
• An LM woman realizes that a bad hair day, a broken nail, a run in the panty hose, or a change in plans are a natural part of the ebb and flow of life, not the makings of a tragic epic suitable for a TV miniseries.

Did any of those stand out to you and you thought…eesh…I think I’m high-maintenance in that area! I know that a few stuck out to me. The one that stuck out the most to me personally is that I am certainly guilty at times of thinking that I have a “right to be happy”. I’m also not a huge fan of “a change in plans”.

Home and Family

What are the two sources of significance that we rationalize the most in our heads?

You probably guessed…home and family (and the title of this section would imply)

The question is…do we value our homes and our children TOO much. Is it possible to value them TOO much? Our home for sure…easy; but our children? I know that it doesn’t seem possible but if we are truly honest and if we truly want to be authentic women, we have to say…yes, there are definitely a lot of times that I put my children before ANYTHING. Before my husband…before God…when that happens, we are valuing them TOO much (I have to admit that even saying that makes me cringe). I am guilty of this in the third degree and if it was illegal, I’d be on death row.

Moms, are we putting our relationship with God and our husbands at risk because we are completely wrapped up with our children? And please understand what we're talking about here...we're not talking about not loving our kids...we're talking about really loving them by teaching them how to get our priorities in order. And do you know that by having our priorities in order which is God first, our marriage second and our children third, we are actually giving them MORE security?! I know, crazy right? ;)

Pam Farrel gives an example in the book about a woman in the Bible who was barren. She longed for a child, waited for a child, prayed and begged God for a child. Hannah vowed to give the child back to God if He would miraculously place a baby in her barren womb. God took her up on the offer and Hannah conceived and bore Samuel. When he was my son’s age (preschool), she made good on her promise and gave Samuel back to God. He grew up under Eli’s care and became one of Israel’s most celebrated faithful priests.

“I think that it is the very act of *giving our children back to God that allows us to be a tool that God can use to grow them. When we hang on too tightly, our children can become possessions of our hearts rather than precious creations in God’s hands.”

(*mentally, not physically - just to clarify)

“Ask yourself: “Do I use my children as a shield, a way to get out of personal growth activities like Bible studies, ministries, or volunteer work that would help me discover God or discover the gifts and abilities He’s entrusted to me? Am I hiding behind my kids because I have areas I feel insecure in, like interpersonal relationships or leadership?”

Um yeah, truth be told, I am sure that I do that at times…

This next paragraph was like one of these super annoying stink bugs in our home…and I heard it buzzing before I saw it and then…it dive bombed my head.

“Has your home become a showplace rather than a source of ministry? Our homes should be places of order, neat enough to live an organized life. But they should also be places in which anyone would be welcome. How welcome does a toddler feel in your home – or a teen?”

OH. MAN.

First, let me preface this by saying that in no way do I think that my home is a “showplace”. It has a lot of work that needs to be done and it is often times very messy. HOWEVER, that question…”How welcome does a toddler feel in your home – or a teen?” ...

Uh, I’m guilty.

My children have recently been charging me. I’m a “no mom”. "No honey, I don’t want you playing with that right now (loosely translated EVER)". "No honey, we’re not going to get into that this minute.” “No, for the thousandth time, we are not going to grandmas today!”

No. No. NO.

I want to change all of that. I want my toddlers and preschoolers to feel WELCOME in my home.

I want to be more of a “yes mom” like Ann.

Yes, you can ride your bike (even though Mommy really wants to be inside doing what I need/want to do)

Yes, you can help me make the cookies (even though when you stir, you have a tendency to spray flour all overly my just washed floor)

Yes, you can break out the Legos and spread them all out in the living room (even though the idea of finding them 6 months later gives me heart palpitations)

YES, I love you more than I love a clean house and peace and quiet.

And yes, let's take this time to sit down together (even though I have a million things to do) and let Mommy tell you about Jesus...

This has been something that has really been on my heart lately, if you can’t tell.

Anyway...

It’s about NOT seeking significance in our earthly treasures but in the one and only real heavenly treasure, CHRIST.

“We don’t have to hype ourselves up by depending on a title, material possessions, power, or position. You don’t have to grapple or claw to hold onto a symbol of prestige. This is a book (or blog study) about attitudes – most importantly, God’s attitude toward you. As you come to believe His opinions about you, they will change your attitudes about yourself. Your foundation is secure. You don’t have to go searching for significance – you already have a part in His plan!”

“As you get to know God, He will help you know yourself and know His significant plan for your unique life. When our significance is developed in our relationship with Him, we are free to be good moms, good wives, good career people – and our ability to be good in those areas will come because we don’t need them for our identity. Because we don’t need them, we can be servant and not think of ourselves so much. THEN God can use us.”

Let us all learn to trade in our fears and weaknesses for God’s strength and character.

Isaiah 61:3

A crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of splendor.

I want a splendid life, how about you?

“Decide you want to be authentic. Be the best you that God intended, and trade in the ashes of false sources of significance for the REAL DEAL. God’s power will work through you because of your relationship with Him.”

I apologize...(WARNING: MAJOR DOSE OF REALITY HERE)

...will you please forgive me? :(

I'm pooped. It has been SUCH a long day. I don't know if it's a full moon or what but my kiddos have been in rare form today.

I didn't get around to writing up part 2 of chapter 2 on Decide to Be Authentic today.

I know...I know...I said that I was going to post it today. :(

I honestly feel like I am letting you guys down! I promise to get it up and posted sometime this weekend though and then I'm hoping to get back on track for next week. :)

I had a lot to contend with today and quite frankly, it hasn't put me much in a mood to write about anything in depth (though admittedly, this is probably a time when I need it most).

My daughter, Natalie, is a little under the weather and so not herself. She is not typically very whiny but today she could have driven me to the point of insanity. It was one of those days that imaginary boo boo's (or at least ones you couldn't see with the naked eye) were life threatening...

You guys are probably thinking..."Aw, how rude that you were taking pictures while she was hurting!" But I was actually trying to make her smile...um, it didn't work :(

2 Barbie band-aids and a severely needed nap and she was much better. THANK THE LORD.

My poor son, Noah...bless his little heart. I think that he is getting his molars or something because the poor little peanut has had diarrhea multiple times a day for about 5 days now. I called the doctor today and they gave me some advice on what to feed him/what not to feed him and how to take care of his diaper rash...which has been just awful, by the way. I've used every diaper cream that we have...Aveeno, Bordeaux's Butt Paste, Desitin and A&D but it just doesn't want to let up. :( Every time I change his diaper, he says in his cute little not quite 2 year old voice..."Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow". :( So sad for my little guy...

Here he is holding his butt and saying...OW, OW, OW, OW, OW...he must have just gone again... :(

Nicolas had a pretty good day...nothing to report...he's happy his daddy is finally home and they are chowing down on today's "catch of the day" (my husband is an avid fisherman).

Aside from the kiddo trouble, I've also had dishes...


Laundry...


Grocery shopping...

Our cabinets and fridge looked like this when the day started...



When we were checking out at the grocery store, my oldest son took the liberty to tell the cashier that "We haven't had food in like a year!"...

Nice. Thanks Nic. Don't I feel like I am up for mother of the year.

I guess he probably felt like it with how barren we were this morning! Don't worry, it looks worse than it was. ;)

Thankfully, our cupboards aren't quite so bare now...

(Now don't ya'll nutrition police get up in my face if you see something that you don't like...)

Bath time didn't go so well tonight either...we had another freak out session with the band-aids...wanted one on before the bath but then wanted it off once in the bath. Grrr! Then someone splashed someone else and the world ended.

No more bath time. No more sane Mama.

Needless to say, I haven't been this happy for bedtime in a while...

So...that is my excuse for not posting a blog on being authentic...

But wait...this blog post is actually just about as authentic and real as you can get, right?! Maybe not all is lost. Well, not unless you count my sanity.

Anyway, hopefully I didn't let you down too badly tonight. Like I said, I do feel bad that I couldn't get to it but some days are like that when you have a 5 year old a 4 year old and a 22 month old.

Now you're probably thinking...well, jeez Jen...for as long as THIS blog post was, you could have just taken the time to post what you were supposed to!

Darn it. You're probably right.

I'm going to bed, girls! I think that I've caught the whiny bug that my daughter got today and all I wanna say right now is...

I DON'T WANNA..........!!!!!!!! ;)

Night all.

Flowers Picked with Little Fingers and Big Hearts...

...just for Mommy.

Another one of the bagillion reasons why I love being their's.

What started out at this:


Turned into this before too long:

Just as the impromptu vase on my kitchen window sill is overwhelmed with "wild" flowers (aka weeds) so is my heart overwhelmed by the love of my children...
Natalie thought that this was the loveliest flower of all the ones she picked...I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was fake...lol...it must have fallen off of our forsythia wreath...

Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who thought fondly of these prized possessions. When I arrived home from grocery shopping a few hours later, I had quite the little colony of admiring ants trying to make a feast of grape hyacinth's, dandelions and the unidentified purple flower with the pretty foliage. Yeah.

Sooooooooo...out the pretty display went...but it didn't take my fond feelings with it...those are still properly intact.

Ahhhhhhhh...oh how I love my little flower power babies and how they see the beauty in weeds and most of all, I love that I am the lucky person they want to share it with. :)

XO,